School Daze

So, this morning started out okay...I was up sitting in the dark on the couch, after having brewed a lovely pot of hot water and stubbing my toe on the table leg. I know that table sticks it out on purpose and then snickers after i turn my big toe into a bloody stump. Anyway, i had fifteen whole minutes of quasi-peace before i had to wake the minions..*GROAN*  Then i figured i'd get the two oldest up first..easy for once! I dared to think it would be a cinch getting them on the bus on time. HAHA! The gods of miniondom had other plans. Mikey decided he was wearing shorts, even though there is frost on the ground and we can all see our breath even with the heat cranked (hello huge bill, let me not pay you!) I said no, at which point he did that weird thing kids do..locking his knees together and pulling his legs to his chest. It would have been easier to try to dress a mummy curled in the fetal position. The threat of no video games didn't faze him one bit..neither did taking away his cookie eating privileges..by the smug look on his face i'm convinced there is a smooshed bag of chips a'hoy secreted somewhere in the house. I finally did my Mommy death screech, which compelled him to stick his legs straight like some kind of Barbie doll with joint stiffness. We wrestled the pants in place, only to realize his shoes were nowhere in sight. How is it he can take them off in his room at night, and in the morning they are in the kitchen?? Those nightly shoe raves must be something. Finally he was ready, with his hoodie askew and his hair sticking up in clumps because the hairbrush seems to have gone off for a tropical vacation without telling anyone. There they are, standing at the bus stop, conveniently located 30 feet from the yard, when Mikey comes running back! If he would've asked for shorts i would have had to call the school and tell them he couldn't make it on account of a severely blistered ass. "I gotta PEE!" he says, in some kind of self-important tone meant to convey the urgency of peeing..like i myself never do it. "Go behind that bush then, you have no time to go inside." (if he would've had to poop, i woulda had a full moon show in the a.m.) He gave me a horrified look  and said "But MOMMY..It's so COLD!!!!" Okay, i totally smirked in complete Mommy superiority when i told him "Aren't you glad you didn't wear shorts?"